‘How is he now, doctor?’ asked a concerned Fatima, who had just come holding a glass of water in her hand.
Clutching a briefcase in the right hand, the doctor was standing there; his eyes were still at a photograph hung on a dull beige wall beside the bed in a dimly illuminated room. A man in his late 70s was lying on it. One of his wrinkled arms was penetrated by a needle feeding him the nutrients, living the other on the stomach; and a thin pipe carrying the oxygen, was travelling through his nostrils. There was a support stick, made up of wood was carried by his idle hand. His old, shrunk, paralyzed body covered with a cotton shawl from legs to waist, was looking pale and dull. His eyes were fixed, lacking a blink, depicting some kind of incompleteness in it. They were shining in the light of full moon coming from the grilled window in front of the bed. The opposite corner of the bed was filled up by the stand holding dozens of fat books and other complex materials of related to biology. A dusty, wooden study table was just beside it; bearing an ink-pot and a pen with some off-white papers on it. A miniature crystallized globe of earth on the papers, was reflecting the noisy moving fan, hung from the ceiling.
There was a black and white photo, clenched by a plastic photo frame, acquiring a corner of the table showing a couple dressed in the wedding attire. Compassing around the rough floor, a cringed metal door could be found, playing the role of an entrance to that small sized room. To collect the concentration of the doctor, Fatima again asked, this time in a little louder voice, “How is my father?”
The doctor came out of the ocean of his memory, tore his eyes from the picture to turn back and answer. “Oh, sorry! Actually, I have just come and still haven’t checked him…” As soon as he turned back, seeing him, a bolt of lightning passed through Fatima’s body. Her heart skipped a bit and a familiar name, buried in the deepest fold of her memory, slipped from her mouth, “Birju!”
“…I have come in the place of Dr. Khatri who has gone to see some other-” the doctor got stopped mid-sentence.
“Wait, what did you just say? Are you…” The doctor also got retrieved something which was lost somewhere inside him. “…Fatima?”
“Yes!” Throwing her glance down to the floor, she replied immediately; a tear rolled down her wrinkly, burnt cheek.
“Oh My God!” Transferring the briefcase from right to left, he put the idle hand on his lips and muttered under his breath in a scrutinizing way.
He found the same salwar-kamiz wearing girl in front of him, he left seven years ago; the dupatta was covering her head but still her long earrings were sneaking from inside, as always. The kangan, the mojari, everything was of the same style he had recalled from the past memory. The only thing changed was the face; the earlier most gorgeous face was now completely burnt on the left side, leaving behind only the eye. The doctor felt the storm of questions rising from inside but he quieted it somehow. He took the glass from her to drink water.
Fatima offered him a chair; he sat on it and examined her father. He put the ear tips inside his ears and diaphragm on the patient’s chest to observe the heartbeat. After a minute or two, he said addressing to Fatima,
“Your father is shivering from cold. Cover him with some woolen material, this shawl wouldn’t work.” Advising this, the doctor pulled a page out from his diary and started writing on it. “This would be enough but still these are some medicines if in case it is needed.”
“Thank you, Birju. Oh sorry, I meant Dr. Brijesh. Actually abba was making some kind of weird noise from inside from last few days. I was unable to find the reason so I thought of calling Dr. Khatri.” Explained Fatima taking the prescription from Brijesh; however, her eyes were still pointing towards the floor.
“Good decision you took” Brijesh replied. “By the way, ‘Birju’ is okay for you.” He added further after a pause with a failed attempt to control a smile.
One of his inner senses was pulling him to sit and grab the chance of talking to the person he admired the most. But he left the place saying, “Ok then, I’ll come after two days for re-checkup. Take care of him and yourself, bye.”
That night Fatima can’t sleep well, so does Brijesh. The train of their memories together that stopped seven years ago was once again started running in their hearts. But one thing eating Brijesh up was the bizarre look of Fatima he had seen, “How come she would have been put in that situation? Who would have done such a ridiculous thing to her that she could not even help herself to meet an eye with me? ”
After two days, Dr. Khatri was going to visit Husain Miyan, Fatima’s father. But gathering some courage Brijesh asked him to let him go instead; and being an experienced assistant, Dr. Brijesh got the permission to go for the re-visit.
-----------------***---------------------------------------***--------------------------------------***-----------
Dr. Brijesh again entered the same room he visited last time; except Fatima was already present there, sitting on a chair. Seeing Brijesh, she stood up; eyes not moved even an inch upwards. She offered another chair to him and Brijesh could not help noticing that Fatima has worn his favorite crimson colored salwar-kamiz. “Maybe she still remembers!” He thought.
After diagnosing Fatima’s father, Brijesh spoke, “He is better than last time. The medicines I gave are working.”
“Thank you.” Fatima said.
Thinking of what to do, how to react, both the person sat for five long minutes; not having enough gut to look into each other’s eyes. At last, Fatima broke the silence.
“Would you like to have tea or coffee or something cold?”
The hidden urge of Brijesh was now surfacing; he could not hold more of her silence. Gathering up his all the courage, he asked finally.
“Can I have your glance please?”
She looked up immediately; expressions of shock were running through her horrible looking face.
“And why do you need it?” said Fatima in a firm voice; her lips pressed. “Where were you Dr. Brijesh when I needed you the most seven years ago?”
“I’ll explain you, I’ll explain you every bit-”
“I don’t want to hear anything from you.” Fatima stood up and tried to say in a stronger voice. “Just…just go from here if you have checked abbu.”
“Fatima please listen to me. I have got this chance after so many years, of putting my stand, of clarifying the things, of talking to you!” Said Brijesh in a low tone; an appeal was draining from his voice. “Please sit here for some time.” He said calming down Fatima.
“The day I met you last time seven years ago, was the most depressed day of my life.” Brijesh began. “That night your father, our teacher came to meet me at my dormitory. He sat in front of me in my room and threatened me not to meet you, or even having any kind of contact with you; otherwise it would not take much time for him to ruin my life.” Fatima clapped her hands to her mouth as Brijesh uttered the last sentence; not even daring to look at her father.
“I told this thing to my donor who were sponsoring my higher studies. He advised me not to involve in these things and focus only on my studies. He informed me that my application for the higher studies has been approved and handed me the call letter. However, I still tried hard to contact you but all the efforts went in vain. I was that bright, young 18 ager at that time; still losing all hopes of even meeting you in future, I…I just prepared myself to follow the advice.
Fatima kept listening calmly.
“After a week, my passport and Visa of USA were ready.” Brijesh continued after gulping a lump of spit which was choking his voice. “I cried my heart out the night I reached there. Not because I was lonely in a strange country but because I could not even gathered myself up against your father for you. And trust me Fatima; I’ve regretted this one thing the most in my life. You may not, but I still-”
WHAMMMM!!!!
Fatima just hit Brijesh hard on his right cheek.
“How can you even think that I may not love you?”
Brijesh’s eyes remained open and wide, glued to Fatima; trying hard but failing miserably hiding the water being poured outside from his eyes. He was astounded by what just Fatima had expressed to him. She too felt a small droplet of tear falling out of her large almond-like eye. Closing them, she regretted every word she had ever thought about her Birju throughout these last seven years.
“Fatima!”
Brijesh tried to pull her back to the present day.
“What about you? How did you get into this kind of situation? Who did this to you?” Wiping his tears, he asked some of the many questions travelling in his mind.
“Two days after we met then, my father arranged a get together with one of his college friends. This was not so unusual thing as abbu used to talk about him quite often but as he and ammi was preparing me for the meet, I think I had a smell about what they were up to.” She began wiping the tears down her cheeks.
“And guess what? I was right.” Fatima looked up. “They fixed my marriage with his elder son named Rameez, and that too without my consent!” Brijesh’s eyebrows pulled up.
“The first picture came to my mind was of you after hearing this horrible news.” She continued. “I tried to convince Rameez to deny the proposal but he refrained. Then, I thought of convincing my parents going our way back but the fate had… had decided something else.” Fatima’s words chocked. Brijesh watched her carefully.
“On our way back to the city, our car…our car had met with an accident!” The words felt difficulty of being showered from her mouth as she sobbed. “She is my ammi who is no more.” Said Fatima pointing towards the photo at which Brijesh was looking the other day.
“Oh! I am very sorry to hear that Fatima.” The pain of losing your mother was no lesser than not having one. Brijesh could feel her pain from the deepest point in his heart.
“And my father…” Fatima continued. ”…my father has been petrified like this since then. His half of the body is paralyzed; he can see and listen but can’t utter a single word. Apart from the eyes and right hand lying on his stomach, none of his body parts he can move by himself. My whole life had got changed in just one day.” Brijesh swirled to look at him; one thing he did not understand was, ‘the support stick’. Although he had studied the patient, he kept listening patiently.
“You know Birju-” Brijesh felt a tide of sensation hit on the bank of his heart. “It was a dream of my father to see me in my wedding dress, one day. I was used to give him this stick and then we both walk together for the school.” Fatima reminded pointing to the right hand of her abbu which was holding a sleek polished wooden stick. After a short pause, she continued. “But everything got vanished in a moment. But thanks to Rameez’s family, who supported me in every way possible to suck me out of this funnel of calamity.
“You see Birju, I was in no way to refrain this marriage. I accepted my fate and just to tell my decision, I tried to contact you after around one and a half month of these incidents. But to my surprise, you had already gone. I got the news of your foreign studies from one of your friends.
“For the first time in life, Birju I felt helpless as you were not in the most miserable time of my life.” Fatima sighed as her watery eyes fell down. Reacting to it, Brijesh put his hand on Fatima’s. She looked up but did not refrain. Brijesh was trying hard not to get malted.
“I am really very sorry Fatima. I don’t know how I could not gather up the courage to stand to your father! I just...”
“Rameez seemed to me a good person, at first.” Fatima jumped over Brijesh’s incomplete sentence. She was emptying herself up as if she had waited for this moment for her lifetime; as if she had found an absorber to shoot her suppressed feelings of the long time. “I mean, he helped me and my family so much in the time of crisis. When no one was beside us, he was. We spent first few months knowing each other. He was attempting every possible way to keep me happy; and I was happy. Everything was going fine. But again the cards of my fate turned for no good.
“Rameez adopted the habit of liquor and gambling from his lousy friends. Every night he was used to come home drunk. He used to beat me, telling me abusive words...” Brijesh’s mouth remained open, horror stuck; eyes raged with anger.
“But I remained silent. I tried every possible way to bring my husband back on the right path, but my every attempt went in vain. I even tried to take help of my mother-in-law but no results, until one unfortunate night when things changed for the worse. I was coming back from my town looking abbu when I caught my husband, Rameez with some other...”
The memory of that single sight was used to haunt Fatima so badly that her voice chocked before even completing the sentence. Her eyes had become of size of a small walnut. Brijesh was still holding the flood in his eyes, listening quietly what his love had gone through all these days.
“I...I screamed; tried to tear them apart and put a tight slap on Rameez’s face. Since he was still in the intoxication of the liquor, he pushed me away and did a failed attempt to inhibit her. But she went out till then. Throwing frenzy, terror-filled expression at me he too went like a gunshot after her. I did not stop him. I was devastated, literally tired running after him.
Fatima tried to continue narration with hiccupping when Brijesh offered her the glass of water from the table beside. As he was putting the glass back, he felt Husain miyan hearing all these things since there was a tear rolling out of his right eye.
“I felt disgusting even sitting again on that bed. I had no idea what to do now. I stretched on the couch beside the bed, facing my right, and closed my eyes not caring of anything around the world. All sorts of thoughts including committing suicide were passing through my mind. But I made up mind firmly not to give up my life for this barbaric person. Also my abbu needed me.
“I was swirling in the sea of thoughts until a shivering cold splash of water hit me, on my face. Although it felt chilled first, it burnt me like a hell from inside. Yes, it was acid; thrown by my own husband in his cloud nine stage, upon me.”
The salty water finally made its way through Brijesh’s widened eyes. He could not hold it anymore. His insides were burning on the same heat felt by Fatima on that night, perhaps even more.
“I don’t know who took me to the hospital that night. Almost whole of my left face paid the price of that slap, I wonder. But you know Brijesh...” His eyes craned which were finding the floor to hide the tears.
“...I didn’t do compromise this time. I had firmly decided to tear this relationship. I got divorced even after negotiation from him and, his and my family so many times. And since then, here I am; taking care of my abbu.” Fatima concluded. Although her cheeks were wet, her lips stretched a bit hinting a slight smile.
“Fatima, you truly are a brave girl. I mean, how can someone survive these wounds?” Brijesh could finally give the form of words to his emotions. He wiped his and her tears and said, “These are the dents not on body; these are the dents on soul. It needs a lot of courage and patience to deal with all of these. And how can somebody so cruel to you! I mean, even the thought of playing with a woman’s self-esteem by doing some filthy deeds is terrifying for me. Literally, you have under gone more than enough, and came out winning from every situation. Hats off to you!”
The smile on Fatima’s face got broadened.
“So?”
“So...what?”
“I mean, you got married to someone or...” asked Fatima in a mischievous tone.
“Nah! ‘Couldn’t find even the similar person like you, let alone the better one.” Brijesh replied. Both laughed. It was the best sound Brijesh had heard from Fatima after seven years, her laughing.
At that fine moment, there happened a loud noise of the stick falling on the floor. They both found their abbu’s hand opened and eyes shut.
